Get the duct tape!!

My head IS exploding! I can't believe the stuff I'm reading, hearing, seeing in America today. People who believe that letting the government "require individuals to purchase their own health insurance" or pay extra in taxes and be placed with or without their consent on a public care option. What happened to freedom of choice???? (for a party that is all about choice this seems a bit totalitarian to me) Oh and btw that quote is directly from our President's press conference last night.

What about free enterprise and the American dream? Hard work, personal responsibility, and learning from failure. So many of America's greatest success stories come out of a multitude of failures. Milton Hershey, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, R.H. Macy. All failed multipule times before they finally succeeded to sweeten our lives, change our world, bring us light, and give us joy. All were products of a time when people actually belived in personal responsibility, hard work, creative thought, and giving it your all.

What happened to that? When did our country become a country of handouts, bailouts, and rescues? When did we stop taking care of our own problems instead of demanding that the government fix the predicament we got ourselves into?

I am saddened that the America of my youth is gone, that the America of my children's future looks like a place where the governement will own every dime they make and every dime their children make to pay back all of this debt. I'm saddened that instead of building a better tomorrow we are borrowing that prosperity for our own selfish greed today.

I sit here in my little townhouse that we barely fit in as a family, happy that we have our 1 car, happy to have a full pantry, and thrilled that my husband still has his job. Knowing we just barely make ends meet and keep this quaint little life of our rolling along. And then I see this dark cloud on the horizon that is filled with exponentially higher taxes and wonder what will give in my little world first. Which child will have to go without school pictures next year, can those jeans my oldest is wearing be patched to be handed down to my 2nd born? Can I learn to cut my husband's and children's hair myself? How many more miles can we make it on the nearly bald tires?

Sounds selfish, probably is, but I really don't care right now about the state of healthcare. I care a hell of a lot more about the state of our bank account and the past due notices that could start arriving if we have to pay out any more in taxes. I am happy with my health coverage thank you. I won't complain, because we are just fine with what we have. I have no problem with taking care of others and making sure they have a place to see a doctor, but I don't think the current solution will even come close to fixing the problem.

Why is it that a stay at home house wife can see the root of the problem? Over inflated lawsuit rewards. The sue happy public that blames doctors for everything that is wrong with them rather than taking, oh wait here's that phrase again, personal responsibility! Lack of support for preventative care, alternative care (thanks FDA), and choice in care. Out of control, unfair pricing that charges one amount for the insured and a totally different one for the uninsured. Or one price at the hospital for a certain medication and a totally different one at the pharmacy. No lie after I got the bills from my surgery in March I was livid to see that the hospital charged me over $600 of the oxicodone I received while I was there for 3 days. The same medication that I got a 3 week supply of from the pharmacy for $5 (actual out of pocket cost because we were into our deductible at that point). Herein lies the problem folks.

As for those millions supposed uninsured Americans. There are a good many of them who are uninsured by choice. There are many who don't take advantage of what IS available because no one has given them the information that it IS available for them or their children. And some don't care. Wouldn't go to a doctor even if it was completely paid for. And honestly I don't think health insurance is really the answer.

A friend of mine pointed out something really interesting to me and I would pose the same question to you. Would you pay $150 a doctors visit for well child checks if you had to pay for it out of your pocket or would you go to a different doctor (all qualifications being equal) who only charged $75? Would you pay $3 a pill for a name brand drug or would you choose the $0.75 per pill genaric? Would you go to the ER for a mild fever if you had to pay for the visit or would you take some Tylenol, drink a lot of fluids, and get some rest (pretty much all the ER doc will tell you to do)? For me I would make the choice that provided the most value to my family. If I had two options with the only difference being price, I would choose the lower price. If everyone did that the market itself would keep the costs of healthcare down. The reason the market doesn't work is because the consumers themselves are NOT paying for their purchases out of their own pockets. We cut coupons for cereal, buy in bulk, and wait for sales in all other areas of our consumer spending EXCEPT in healthcare. Why? Because insurance companies out to make money off the healthy in order to pay for the sick only charge us a flat rate that doesn't really change that much no matter what our consumption of the product is. This system doesn't allow for free market corrections in price and quality. It is a false sense of security and now we are paying the price.

So here I sit, worried, confused, feeling lied to and betrayed by a governement whose jobs we provided, but that has forgotten that the trade off is that they are supposed to listen to us.

All I can do is hope that some or a lot of people with loud enough voices can do something to stop the downward spiral I see, before it is too late and we have traded away our liberties, privacy, and rights for the false security of government run healthcare, government owned private enterprise, and government mandated insurance for everyone that costs more than it is worth.

Update for mid-May:

Its been cool and drizzly here the last couple of days, but we are supposed to have 70's and dry through memorial day. I'm looking forward to finishing my planting and cleaning up the back yard. We should have a really nice garden this year as long as I can keep up with the weeding and watering. Marc is off Friday and Monday, so there are a few projects I hope we can get done. We also want to spend at least one day either up on the mountain or out at the beach. If its warm enough I hope to smoke a brisket one day too.

The kids are doing okay. Lily is so very excited to be turning 4 next week. We will have a little family party for her with cake and ice cream on Wednesday, then on June 7th she and I are going to host a mommy and daughter tea at a local Victorian tea house with 2 of my friends and their 4 year old daughters. Lily specifically asked to have a "girls only" party. So this is what we will do. I found her a beautiful sage green frilly dress to wear on clearance at Fred Meyer for only $13! It will be a lot of fun for her. I've asked one of the mom's to bring her really nice cannon digital and take some pictures, so I will be sure to send along some when I get them from her.

Colton is having an absolute blast in school. His reading has come along nicely. He is right where he should be and we couldn't be happier. He is such a loving little boy. Today he told his sister to eat all her veggies because they would "make her pretty like mommy". He continues to astound me with his creativity and all of his gorgeous artwork. I don't have the heart to throw any of it away! At the school open house last week we had a great time seeing all of the projects Colton had hanging in the hallway and in his room. His teacher just adores him and says he makes her laugh everyday with his quirky outlook on life.

Austin is still having some rough days with paying attention and finishing his work. It is primarily with writing. We finally had to sit down with him and explain that even though he knows how to write, if he doesn't do his work and show his teacher what he knows she may think he hasn't learned it and may want to have him do 2nd grade again. He is just barely getting to grade level in writing and we aren't sure if they will hold him back or not, but I am sure that if he doesn't improve, 3rd grade will be very hard for him. It is still so hard for me to decide if he really does have an attention/learning issue or if he is just being stubborn and doesn't want to do the work.

Marc's job is keeping him really busy lately. One of his team members' wife just gave birth to their 1st child and he will be out for 2 weeks. With Marc covering that extra work, he is putting in very full days. The good news is that because they are barely able to cover the contracts with the amount of techs they have right now it doesn't look like anyone else will be laid off! Whew!!! Marc's school is going well and he is carrying a B average. He has 2 more electives and then he starts the "meat" of the management program in July. From there he has about a year until he is finished. I'm really proud of him.

I have been looking for work, but either the jobs are straight commission, require full availability, or are in areas like food service that just don't make sense to take. We are making it right now and while we do without extras it doesn't make sense for me to take time away from my family for a job I'd hate if we don't absolutely need me too. We're pretty sure we can make it until fall when Border's will be bringing people back for the holidays again, and my manager there has told me she definitely wants me back then.

Only a few more weeks left of school and I am trying to figure out what our summer is going to be like. I'd like to take at least 1 camping trip, and a few day trips to places we've not seen in Oregon before. I'd like to get a few projects done, but we shall see things never go they way I plan them in my head. The challange is going to be surviving the summer without a car and all 3 kids at home! I hope we can get to know the bus routes well and be out and about, not stuck at home!

Well here we are at the end of March already! Where has the time gone??? I can't believe how quickly we are into spring and yet it really doesn't feel like spring. If it weren't for all the blooming plum and cherry trees I would say it was still winter!

With Spring comes Colton's birthday! Wow my baby boy is going to be 6!!! We are going to invite his kinder class to join us for a party hopefully on the 11th, if Out of This World Pizza has an opening. This will be his 1st big birthday party ever! I can't wait to see how much fun he will have! (Thanks mom!)

We are almost done with the spring product sale for cub scouts, and I am soooo very glad it is almost over. So far it looks like it's been a huge success. I think the pack has sold almost $5k worth of product, earning the boys close to $1200!! At this point we have almost our whole pack going to summer camps and most of them have paid their own way via fundraising! I am so proud of how hard these boys have worked toward their goal of going to camp.


With the slow going recovery of unexpected abdominal surgery and all the other "distractions" my house is a wreck and its driving me nuts! I am literally pretending not to see the insanity, otherwise I will break "doctor's orders" and clean something. Yeah I know, everyone is shocked to hear that I am actually wanting to clean, but really it is driving me crazy!

Not to mention the fact that I really need to get my raised beds preped for planting, the leaves raked out of my flower beds, and the weeds pulled! I hate seeing the days tick by with no rain and my not being able to be outside digging in the dirt. Starting seeds inside and watching them grow is only fueling the desire to see that I have a successful garden this year! Its both about really wanting to eat fresh homegrown veggies, and about saving money. I spent less than $20 on seeds and peat pots, I'll probably spend another $20 on dirt and compost for the beds, but in the end that is cheaper than one trip to the produce section of the grocery store or the farmers market!


Now for some not so good, scarey, and possible live changing news......



Marc may not have a job come June. They had layoffs this week and lost 1 person in his group. For the tools he is responsible for there are 5 people for 3 contracts so chances are they will let at least 1 person go in the near future. I'm nervous and scared of course, but at least we know it might be coming this time instead of being blind sided like we were back in TX.


Marc and I have both decided that if it does happen we will be moving back to Florida. I can't stand the idea of starting over in yet another new place with no family or friends. The kids need family, and our family needs us. Marc's mom in particular. So, since she has the space (both inside and a giant RV in the drive) for us until we can find jobs and get a place of our own we will stay with her. It looks like if he does get laid off he will get 2 months severence which would be enough to move us and hold us over for about a month.


The scariest part will be trying to sell our house. I just don't know if we can get what we owe on it, and if we can how long it will take. There are a ton of houses for sale in our neighborhood. ****BIG SIGH*** But enough of borrowing worry from tomorrow. We will just have to take it one day at a time and prepair for the worst while hoping for the best. There is a "state of the business" meeting going on right now, so maybe Marc will get some good news.