Looking forward!

So its 2011. A new year, and some how that is supposed to mean a new start.  For my kids it really will be a new start.  Starting a new school tomorrow is a big deal. Probably an even bigger deal in my own mind, so I'm trying to keep own anxiety to myself. 

Austin seems to be the most nervous and actually said he was. But he's also so very excited and hoping some of his soccer buddies are in his class or that he at least gets to see them at lunch. Colton actually thrilled since his 'best friend" who moved out of their school last year goes to the school we've moved into. Lily is still so new at the school deal that she doesn't have any real attachment to where we've been, and is excited to make new friends where we are going.

I, however, have a litteny of concerns floating around in my head. Both the practical and logistical concerns like:

• What kind of supplies am I going to have to buy, AGAIN.
• Who are their teachers!!
• Will I be allowed to walk them to class tomorrow?
• How timely is the bus they will be riding (our previous bus was notoriously late in the afternoon)
• Can I manage to make homemade lunches every day like I really want to (okay this doesn't have to do with the new school, but it is a concern)
• Can we manage to get everyone up and ready by 7:45 with out tears and frustration?? (this is earlier by about 20 minutes over the previous "have to leave the house NOW!" time)
• How long will it take us to all adjust to the new routines, new homework rules, new teachers level of communication to home, etc. etc.

And the more emotional concerns of my mama bear side:

• Will the kids like there teachers?
• How scarey will it be for them to find their way around a new place alone?
• Will they have someone to sit with at lunch?
• Can they make it back to their bus okay?
• Will Colton make it through the day without crying and if he doesn't will there be a kind person there to help him through the tears?
• Will Lily find the "new girl" roll fun and exciting or scarey and nerve wracking?
• Will Austin be able to internalize the new rules he will surely have quickly and without too much frustration over such a big transition?
• Will I be able to find a home with their PTC and be accepted with the same amount of warmth and community as I was at the previous school during my volunteering?

And I'm sure there are more floating around in my brain, just waiting to rear their ugly little heads just as I lay down to go to sleep tonight. 

I don't have any answers to the logistical issues, and won't until we see how things go and I get to talk to their teachers over this next week. The emotinal ones are even more of a "wait and see" sort of situation. I'm not very good at "wait and see", except when I'm labor sitting for a client! I wish I could somehow manage to use the patience I have towards birth with other parts of my life.

Besides the nerves over the kids starting their new school there are other things this year brings for me.

I have decided to finally do something serious about my back and shoulder pain.  For years now most Chiropractors, MDs, and Orthopedic folk have been telling me that the weight of my breasts is the primary cause of my pain. So to that end I will be having reduction surgery this year.  Not exactly sure how soon, but I'm really hoping it will be this spring sometime.  In order to be in the best possible health for that surgery I have set a goal for myself of walking at least a mile or riding 2 miles each and every day.  I hope with that and watching my food choices I can cut some weight and be in better shape, so that I recover well after surgery.

We are also going to be planning a major road trip for when the kids get out of school.  It has been years since much of my family has seen the children and many of them have never met Lily.  The kids are finally old enough to be helpful on a trip such as this and to really enjoy themselves and gain good memories from our adventures.  Right now the tentative plan is to head out in June, going north across Oregon, Washington, Idaho, and Montana. Down through Wyoming to Yellowstone, onto South Dakota to Mt. Rushmore. Down through Iowa to my Dad's in Missouri and spend a few days there. Then on to Chicago to show the kids one of my favorite cities and meet with friends. From there we'll go down through Illinois, stopping to visit family and friends through out the state, and finally getting to my Mom's in Kentucky.  From here I'm hoping my mom will go with us to Branson, MO. Then we'll head back west, though Oklahoma, Texas (just the panhandle most likely, sorry friends in Austin, we'll have to catch you next time!), New Mexico possibly stopping to see a friend in Albuquerque, then up to Las Vegas and home by way of Crater Lake.  Taking 3-4 weeks and our time to see what we wish, enjoy the drive, and learn as much as we can about our great country! All said and done will travel close to 6K miles! I am hoping it all works out the way I have it planned in my head! Oh and did I mention we will be camping the whole way?  Yep NO hotels for this industrious, outdoorsy family! (We will however make full use of the shower facilities at the state parks! LOL)

Big plans that's for sure! To make those happen, getting our finances under control, and keeping to a savings plan will be essential!  And part of that is by reducing our consumption and our food bill! I am hoping to make a lot more from scratch, bread included, this year.

As my planning goes forward I will be looking to you dear readers for help with menu planning, frugal living tips, recipies, traveling with kids tips, and ideas of what to see on our route! 

Happy 2011 Everyone!! Thanks for joining me for yet another year!

5 years ago

5 years ago I was trying my hardest to rest after labor stopped AGAIN! Marc and I went and saw Revenge of the Sith while his dad and step-mom watch the boys. I actually went into labor during the movie, and hoped that Lily would arrive while they were still in town only to have it stop as soon as I got home and laid down. It came and went all night long........5/26 10:39pm

5 years ago I was up eating the breakfast my husband made me and waiting for his parents to come say goodbye before they got on a plane back to South Carolina. Contractions were about 10 minutes apart still like they had been off and on all night. 5/27 7:35am

5 years ago I was rocking on the birth ball in my living room while saying goodbye to my inlaws. Labor had indeed started, but it was slow going! Sad to see them go, and sad that they would just be missing the birth of their granddaughter! 8:13am

5 years ago I was changing my clothes, Marc was calling our Doula and the Birthcenter, we loaded up the boys our bags and headed out to Tualatin to settle in for labor.  9:55am

5 years ago I was finally in active labor! I settled into the tub and called the family to let them know Lily was on her way! 11:14am

5 years ago I floated in a tub of warm water, surrounded by flickering candles, the faces of women I trusted, and the power of every laboring woman who had come before me.  I felt their energy as I sored through each contraction going deep within myself to find the beautiful and power of the moment. 1:02pm

5 years ago I was still laboring away. the AC at the birthcenter had shut off, my midwives and husband were melting while I was in a warm tub floating through contractions. Lily's arrival was still abouit 4 hours away! 5:56pm

5 years ago transition hit, but with a power and excitement I didn't experience with my boys. I was so excited because this meant Lily was almost ready to be pushed out!! 6:32pm

5 years ago I started feeling the urge to push!! Just little moments of my body working to move that baby down. I will always be amazed at how my body just knew what to do. I didn't push per say as much as it was my body pushing of its own will. About now I decided it was time to go back to the tub; as I got to the side of it about to climb in my body said, "PUSH!!!!!" I did and my water broke with that first push. 7:57pm

5 years ago having tried out the birth stool and deciding I HATED it, I got back into the tub and started pushing in earnest. I with Marc at my shoulder holding me under my arms and my wonderful midwives encourage me the whole way I kept at it. Determined and powerful. I had never felt so alive or so empowered! 8:24pm

 5 years ago Colton and Austin had joined us by the tub, and Lily was crowning. Almost time now.......8:52pm

 5 years ago today at 9:01pm Lillian Elizabeth was born in the water of the Lavendar Room Tub at Andaluz Waterbirth Center in Tualatin, Oregon. Her brother Austin cut her cord a few minutes later and the whole room sang Happy Birthday to our sweet daughter. Happy 5th Birthday Princess Lilybug!! 9:01pm Pacific Time

Lj posts continued...

Quick Kid Update

January 9,2006

Austin is hysterical. He asked about 20 questions in the span of two minutes when we told him we were moving. The first one was "back to Texas?" LOL, poor kiddo. I think he misses it just as much as we do. The next 15 centered around making sure all of his toys and our stuff would be going with us. Then he wanted to know how we would move it all since clearly our van is not big enough to fit our sofa inside! LOL, he kills me! Then he wanted to know if Lily would be moving too. Hehe! I think he is getting annoyed with her crabbiness too.

Speaking of Lily, she is now 19 lbx and very long. She has a head full of rich brown hair that has tinges of red and gold in it. Her eyes are still somewhere between green and brown, and she has two sweet little teeth on the bottom front. I am pretty sure her surly attitude is due to the top teeth working their way out, but with her one just can't be sure. She is trying to crawl, and has the rolling, scooting, commando style movement down. She would, however, prefer to pullup on furniture and walk her way around the room, or have you hold her hands and walk her through the house. She loves her brothers and finds them vastly amusing, but I swear if we aren't careful they will be the death of her! Today Colton dropped a metal truck about the size of a pack of cigarettes on her head. She has a bruise the size of a dime right in the middle of her forhead. Then latter this afternoon Austin was trying to sit her up and she reared back and smacked her cheek on the leg of the coffee table. Poor kid. This is when a parent starts to contemplate buying a helmet for the baby!

Colton is doing well. He is completely potty trained. He took to it so beautifully, and after all the struggles we had with Austin, I am thrilled. He has had a few accidents, but is even wearing underwear all night long and staying dry. I can't complain. I am not sure how the move with go for him. He really only remembers living in this apartment, and all the confusion could be hard for him. I am trying to thing of some ideas of special activities he can do while I am packing. Right now it seems like he really needs a lot of attention and playtime with mommy and daddy and over the next few weeks it is going to be hard to balance it all.

Just spend the last hour reading my old LiveJournal posts. It was started when we still lived in TX, and just before we moved up here to Portland.

I am so glad I recorded my thoughts. So much of what we went through, so many little joys, so many moments of sadness. All there for when my memory becomes dull. I enjoyed this trip down memory lane and I thought you guys might too, so the next few blog posts will actually be reposts from my Live Journal.

Here are a couple of my favorites:

life in the Miller Zoo

October 6th, 2004

Well today was your typical day in a monkey cage.

Except the monkeys are named Austin and Colton. I swear children must be preprogramed with a scream that is created for the sole purpose of driving their mothers insane. Fighting, pushing, crying, whining, and general chaos. ALL DAY. ARGH! And I am having another. I think I really am insane. Austin just doesn't get the idea of leaving his brother alone. And Colton goes up and whacks Austin for no apparent reason. I think it's payback for something Ausitn did and Colton just waits for the "right moment" to attack LOL.

It is days like today when I force myself to find the cute and the funny in my kids. One thing about Austin is that he is really helpful. Even though his helpfulness caused him to pull his little brother out of his high chair into a heap on the floor! I heard the scream and came running out of the bathroom (hence the reason Colton wasn't out of the chair yet) to see Colton on top of Austin crying his eyes out, and Austin crying louder!

Colton is sweet. He will come running to kiss you if you hurt yourself, and will try to comfort Austin if he is crying. He is also starting that wonderful independent streak that starts around 18 months! His favorite word is "no", which he usually is screaming at the top of his lungs at his brother. He likes to eat still, but is starting to be a little more picky (sigh) about what he will and won't eat.

At least I have a smart husband who made me take the heathens for a walk to the park when he got home today. The walk was fun and I got over my general irritation with them. On the way we saw two slugs **EeWWW***!!! that were very facinating to Austin and totally grossed me out. When we got there we met a little boy who was wearing the exact same shoes as Austin. Needless to say they were instant friends! I just hope we see him again next time we go. He and his sister were there with their nanny, and she said that they are usually there midweek at that time.

On the way back Austin got all worried about it raining on us, since the sun had gone behind some clouds, and I had chosen to leave the umbrellas at home. He is going to have to get over that! Getting rained on is part of life up here, or so I am told.

One good thing is that he is no longer worried about Mt. St. Helens. He understands that she is just "letting off steam" and we are safe. I am proud of my quick thinking and creative parenting on this one! I used my tea kettle to explain to him what was happening! Smart mama am I *grin*.

I have appointment number 2 with a 2nd midwife tomorrow. The first one went well and if I have to have another hospital birth I will go with that person. If however I can get our insurance to pick it up I really want to have this one at home. We shall see.

Ok off to bed to rest for tomorrow's events!

preggo update

April, 21 2005

Lets see I am 34 wks 1 d if you go by the ultrasound. I measured just shy of 35 cm at my appointment on the 19th, and I have been so consistently measuring a week ahead it is hard for me to think I might actually go to my EDD. I hope not.
I am still a little worried about what to do with the boys when I go into labor. If it is during the day I think they will be ok at the birthcenter and my MW's assistant even said as long as I am not crowning she can help keep them entertained. And they just got a DVD player and said that we can bring movies for them to watch as well. If it is in the middle of the night I am worried about it. They may not go back to sleep once we get there, and I really feel like I need DH by my side as much as possible. I am really hoping labor and delivery will happen while my inlaws are here, but just in case got the number for the volunteer/student doula coordinator at Birthingway Midwifery College, so I can get set up to have a student doula for free. They can come in the middle of the night to the center and either be with me if DH is needed for the boys or be with the boys.

I am enjoying the movements and playing with little girl as she poke her feet out of my sides. She is so big already! Her feet are in my ribs and her head is definitely down on my cervix. She is also anterior with her back on my left side. Although she tends to spin around on her head like a top during the day.
The heartburn isn't nearly as bad now that I am taking papaya enzymes after each meal, and liquid calcium/magnesium every night before bed. I also switched prenatals to the RainbowLight brand and they are awesome! I have more energy and I don't burp them like other vits.
Ok off to go fold laundry again!

37 weeks and counting. . . . .

May 12th 2005

Well I can officially have the baby any day now and she will be ok. MW's were worried about my weight gain at my May 5th appointment as I had lost about 1/4 of a pound, but on the 10th I had gained 2 lbs so all is well.
I am anxious for her to arrive, and starting to get restless. I don't sleep so much as snooze off and on all night long. Due to my need to pee every hour and the contrax every 20mins! I hope things get going within the next week or so. My FIL will be here on the 20th so after that would be a good time so that the boys can be with Grandpa.

The boys are awesome even if they annoy me most of the time. I am thinking it is the pregnancy not the kids LOL. I was in such a foul mood yesturday that Marc kicked me out of the house right after dinner and told me not to come home until 10. So, I went to my knitting group, and then to Barnes and Noble. I felt a lot better when I got home!

Here's hoping today is a good day! We are supposed to have nice weather so I think I am going to pack up the boys and my kntting and head to the park.

MORE to come!!!!

Halloween 2009-Part 1

What a fantastic time we had! It is no secret that I LOVE this holiday and especially love creating costumes for the kids. This year Colton was the only kid who let me be creative and make his outfit. Here's the result! Colton the Zombie kid!!

He requested the green hair but otherwise left it all up to me. We slashed an old shirt, added fake blood, but the best part were the realistic scar/wound tattoos that Austin and I found!

He really loved the way it all came together when we were finished.

Here is a close up of the Tattoos!

Austin was the Grim Reaper (no scythe could be found, so we settled for a sickle)

Lily asked to be a Care Bear way back at the beginning of the month, and I thought there was NO WAY I'd be able to pull that off. We got super lucky and found her costume at the Pass It On Sale in Hillsboro!

Not much new going on around here. I'm finally used to Marc's new schedule of having to leave the house at 7am. Not liking it mind you but, used to it nevertheless. I do feel like I get a lot more done getting up earlier, so that is a good thing. We are all finally NOT SICK! YAY! January and February were rough months, I'm glad it's almost March.

Marc started back to school this week on Tuesday nights. I never like it when he's not home for bedtime LOL, but I keep reminding myself of the bigger picture. When he finishes his degree we have way more options open to us that he does now without it. Like moving back East, closer to family.

We had a dusting of the yucky white stuff yesturday, and I just have to say that I am really done with winter. I am really hoping things start to warm up soon. Spring here is a beautiful time of the year, and I am ready to see the flowers!

Austin is doing so-so in school. His knowledge is great. His math facts are quick and his reading is improving, its his actually focusing on the work and getting it done that we are still having issues with. Add to that the fact that ever since we have returned from Florida, he has developed this attitude that is rude and sarcastic. UGH he isn't even 8 yet! Why does he remind me of a teenager? So because he has been consistently rude and sometimes abusive to his brother and sister, continually "forgetting" his homework at school, or lying about it being done, and talking back to Marc and me with a voice and attitude that are no where near respectful, we've taken video games away indefinitely. The backtalk and attitude to Marc and me when we tell him to do something is normal and really not a huge deal to me unless it becomes a constant thing. Its a phase that is normal anyway according to my mom! But the "forgetting" his homework (yeah right!) and lying I will not stand for. Oh and picking on his sister and bringing her to tears almost daily has to stop. So he seems really motivated to fix how he treats people since we took games away. He can still play outside (weather permitting of course) and play with toys, crafts etc. But video games are a major priviledge in this house and he has to earn them back now. I totally get why all this is going on, he's powerless as a kid in so many ways, so showing power by picking on Lily is his way of trying to get some back for himself. Its just not ok. Marc and I have also figured that the last 3 months everyone has been off. Snow storm, winter break, trip to Florida, and illnesses have had our whole schedule and dynamic of kilter. Getting back to the routine and way of doing things in our house (respect for each other, kindness, truthfullness, etc) is going to help him be successful both in school and at home, and that is OUR job. So hopefully that will happen.

Colton started a new program at Beaver Acres called Kinder Plus. He stays for an extra 45 minutes each day durin which he is in a class of about 30 kids with 4 teachers and they focus soley on reading skills. He loves it! It's amazing to me how much he really loves school. He is such a different boy now. Still very loving and sweet, still sensitive and quick to cry, but much better at working out problems with his siblings and much more articulate. He also is constantly thinking and coming up with cool things to tell us. I love it!

Lily is well, Lily. Always an enigma to me. I guess I just don't get girls or 3 year olds. A couple of days ago she took Austin's soccer trophey and banged the crap out the the top of my coffee table! Grrrrr. And her taunting of her brothers is a big source of discontent in our house. She is getting better about listening and doing what we ask of her without comment, but her stubborn side still drives me crazy. The little battles over what she'll wear, if she can bring a toy into a store, or where to sit on the stinkin' couch drive me nuts, but are starting to get fewer and farther between. Thankfully we are getting closer and closer to 4 years old, and hopefully a lot of this weill fade away.

So there you go, a quick update!

Random updates

Ok so since we've been back from Florida, I've gotten strep throat, got better, got the flu, got better, had all 3 kids go through the flu, they got better, and now I'm trying to recover from 3 weeks of being in a house full of illness and get my house back in order.
I managed to get Lily's room cleaned and organized. Marc helped with the boys room, and now its on to the rest of the house. Oh and I re-ordered my pantry and can actually find everything now.
I'm still working on getting a handle on our cub scout pack. So far things are going along nicely. Everyone seems really happy with the changes and willing to put work in. Well mostly. We still only have about half of the parents actually working for the pack. I'd like to see that closer to 3/4, but beggers can't be choosers right? Our next big things are Blue and Gold Banquet and Spring Candy Sales. I have a pretty good handle on the sale, and it seems that the person we chose to handle the banquet is doing a fantastic job. I'm really happy about that. After candy comes recruitment for the spring. I really hope to boost our packs numbers by about 30% over last year. That would add about 10 new families and give us new parents to help. I am ok being committee chair if I have all the rest of the positions filled and I only have to be committee chair! Its no fun having to do so much work behind the scenes that I don't get to enjoy the activites with my son, and next year with Cole starts as a Tiger I will have to be with him and can't be doing all that I'm doing now. Fortunately, I have a lot of support from Marc and he is willing to do what ever I need him to. I have some things planned that should help the whole deal run more smoothly and keep people informed with minimum effort on my part. Lets hope it works!
Colton started a new program at school called Kinder Plus. He gets to stay for an extra 45 minutes every day with a different group of teachers that focus solely on reading. He is really loving it and actually reading words after only 2 weeks in the class. I'm very excited for this time in his life. The moment of truth when a child "gets it" and starts reading is soooooo cool.
Austin is doing much better in all aspects of school. He still has what his teacher calles his "wiggly" days, but they are fewer in number and seem to be after a long stretch out of school, like a 3 day weekend or when he comes back from being sick. His reading skills have really blossomed since starting his own reading group with one of the reading specialists at school. We are sooooooo lucky to have such great teachers and good programs in our school. I just pray that we get to keep the programs.
I'm trying to figure out a way for Lily to start some sort of preschool in the fall. She doesn't really need it on an acedemic level since she picks up so much just by being around when we work on homework with the boys, but socially she needs to learn a few things before kindergarten. She is stuck at home with me and her brothers way too much. She is very much the "baby" in our house. I think it keeps her from being assertive in some aspects and makes her over aggressive in others. Being on an even playing field with kids her own age would help this a lot. Plus she really needs to learn to follow the directions of other adults when mom and dad aren't around. She tends to dig her heals in if she doesn't like something or it isn't going her way. Normal I know, and typical for her age and such, but learning how to "do school" before kindergarten might help her there.
I'm sort of in a rut emotionally lately. Worrying about way too much, most of which I have no control over. Feeling anti-social and disconnected again. Missing my far away friends and family, and overwhelmed by the day to day chaos of raising 3 kids. Marc has been great trying his best to take some of the load off, but so much of what needs done I want to do myself and have a really hard time letting go and asking for his help. Its just me. Control Freak Extrordinaire! So much of the running of the house is stuff I truly HATE doing. Grocery shopping, meal planning (not the actual cooking part, that I love), laundry, scrubbing floors, dusting etc. I truly hate it. But I'm just ocd enough to have to have it done MY way. Crazy I know, especially when someone is offering to help! So I have to get some sort of plan and stick to it that allows others to help with the house and still gets stuff done they way I need it done. When I figure it out I'll let you know!

Ok so posting blogs w/ pictures via Picassa has it's downside, aparently I can only post 4 pics per blog, so here are some more of our day at Daytona Beach in January. If you read the previous post you know that Austin was very reluctant to go into the ocean. As you can see from this picture, once I coerced him into sticking his toe in, it did not take him long to be jumpin waves and having a ton of fun.











Now this was the way I expected to see Austin! Soaked and smiling! In the end he was very happy that he decided to go ahead and get in the waves. He loved the Florida beach, but said that he likes the Pacific just as much. Not surprising as he is definitely my water boy!


Colton also had a great time. He told me that he liked the Florida beach "way better" than the Oregon one, because the water was a lot warmer, and because we could park right on the beach and not have to hike to get to it. Colton found a star fish and some shells that were really neat.









Lily had a lot of fun. Running from waves, and digging for shells. We found a lot of cool things. Lots of little angel wing clams (scallops I have no idea), and a crab claw.


In the end this is one thing I really miss about Florida. While I love the ocean (any ocean) and will take what I can get. Sunny and warm is how a beach should be!