Instead of being hung up excessively on what others are going to think of me when I blog this, say that, do whatever, I can finally stand firm, not giving a rip if my well intentioned words are still twisted by someone with nothing better to do.I think that is the key, "well intentioned words." The fact that truly in my heart I do not mean anyone any ill will. I only strive to express MY truth as it manifests in my daily life as a mom, a wife, a volunteer, a knitter, an advocate, and an American.
So much of my life I've spent excess energy trying to please people. Keeping the peace in my family and stuffing all of my own beliefs way down until my own identity became somewhat ambiguous. It took years for me to realize I just needed to be me. I give my husband a lot of credit for helping me wake up to that fact. Even now though I have moments where I back track on my stance and try to smooth ruffled feathers because someone thinks I'm too abrasive or too over the top in my point of view. All to often I end up making it worse or devaluing my original stance to make it more "acceptable." No more. If I don't stand for my beliefs I loose something even more important that the acceptance of acquaintances. My integrity.
So here's to 2010 and speaking my truth as painful as it might be for me to do. Blogging with Boldness about life, love, kids, crisis, passions, and politics! So here's your warning dear readers, tread with care from here on out there might be monsters.....
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Much better!!! I am a strong advocate for taking this kind of stance, perhaps because it is something that I also struggle with. So many years spent in problem resolution and not ruffling the customer's feathers doing customer service work really grinds that into you making it very difficult to overcome. If you are constantly afraid of what people are going to think or say then you will inevitably find yourself paralyzed and unable to do anything. Much better to simply be yourself, tell your story, and let them be responsible for how they feel about it.
ReplyDeleteI say go for it. My blog is called Giftedly-Outspoken for a reason. I don't really bite my tongue or hold back and feel that everyone should be the same way! Tell it how it is, or how you feel it is!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to read!
Thanks for the votes of confidence! I am working on my post for tomorrow and I hope it is Bold enough LOL.
ReplyDeleteI just want to address issues that I feel strongly about and not worry about my passions being misinterpreted or offensive. So I have to let go of the fear of what others might think.
We shall see how it goes!
I completely agree that you should say what you feel and stand in your truth. And like you said 'intention' is everything. We all should step back when we start to trigger and try to see the intention behind it all.
ReplyDeleteAnd remember, you are putting things in public, so expect differing opinions and views. Each person is responsible for their own feelings and can't feel offended unless they let themselves. Likewise, don't take differing opinions or views as an attack or apologize for it. Instead see it as another perspective to discuss and choose to process it and retain any of it that you wish to. Sometimes what may seem as 'attacking' you for your position may simply be someone who doesn't communicate the same as you and is just trying to discuss. But don't apologize if they get heated because you haven't done anything 'wrong', so no need to defend yourself. Don't own their judgements, assumptions or anger. Some people simply can't agree to disagree or discuss things without being heated and that's not your problem!
I'm happy to see you gaining strength in yourself and not just trying to get in everyone's faces. You have a brilliant mind and do much research into what you think and your choices. You also put a lot of thought into your decisions and we've had some amazing discussions. Stand in your truth and know that you have people who love you no matter what the differences may be. <3
Yay! I love truthfulness. I strive for that in my own live but everyone gets so darn defensive. I have also made it a goal in my blog to be myself. So far I haven't had any real personal posts but the day will come. And I hope when that day comes I don't back down.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the inspiration.
@Nicki
ReplyDelete" Each person is responsible for their own feelings and can't feel offended unless they let themselves. Likewise, don't take differing opinions or views as an attack or apologize for it."
ABSOLUTELY!!! Part of this whole effort to be brutally honest with myself is also allowing others to do the same and checking my own reactions. That in fact may be more of an exercise in personal growth than not worrying about what other's think! LOL
But I'm ready. I have realized that writing is the outlet I truly need to feel like I am more than just mom, wife, and homemaker.
@Krista You are most welcome! And I am here to support you in your blogging adventures as much as you would like me to!
Lol, I hear ya woman. Been my growth point for the past few months as well. :D
ReplyDelete